Naples

Like I mentioned a couple of months back my wife and I holidayed in Italy this year and our first stop was Naples.

Left me say that Naples does not create a good first impression. It's dirty, crowded and kinda sleezey looking which is why five years ago when we stayed for a week in nearby Sorrento we didn't once venture into Naples.

About a year ago however we had cause to regret this choice while watching Francesco de Mosta's program Italy: Top to Toe and so this year we made a point of spending a few days in Naples.

Naples is great. It has a raw energy and vibrancy I've rarely experienced anywhere else. We stayed in the historic center with its beautiful (rundown) buildings, narrow streets and crazy drivers. It's a meanderer's paradise as you can spend hours strolling around, seeing the sights and stopping off for coffee, ice cream or a glass of wine. We were only there for 3 days which just isn't enough but my two highlights were the National Museum and Naples Underground.

There are 3 things you probably should know about Naples,
1. It's not as dangerous as it looks (in fact we felt quite safe and didn't experience or see any crime)
2. Naples really does have the best pizza in the world
3. There is no roller coaster on earth that comes even close to getting a taxi though the historic center.
3a. The Napolise are incredibly friendly.

We'll definitely be back.

The Moulin Rouge

Let me start by saying the Moulin Rouge is not cheap, two tickets (with dinner) cost €290, so it was with some justification that I expected a fairly impressive night out - it turned out to be a night of three half's (to coin a phase).

My wife and I arrived early, not realising that the Moulin Rouge is set right in the middle of Paris's red light district. I arrived expecting a West-End or Broadway but it's actually like, well, a seedy red light district. Undaunted we decided to have a look around but theres only so many sex shows and sex shops you can be invited into before it all becomes a bit boring and so we ended up popping into a fairly nice English pub for a drink before the show.

Our ticket told (not asked - told!) us to be there at 6.45pm and so we were, where we had the pleasure of joining a huge queue and then left waiting for 1/2 an hour before they decided to admit us. To be fair, once the queue got going it really moved, including the coat room and from which we where quickly ushered to our seats. As seats go we had pretty good ones, good view of the stage with no one blocking our view. Unfortunately the seats where designed (I think) for very small, very slim people and while I'm not very tall I'm definitely not slim. The Moulin Rouge crams 850 seats into an area that probably should accommodate 400, I can only say that this must be where they got the idea for tinned sardines from.

After a mere five minutes of trying to find the least uncomfortable way to sit our waiter arrived to take our order, we both ordered the soup and veal. While we waited for the food to arrived we noticed that our seat was directly over an air vent which blasted (I'm not kidding) cold air into our seating area. Because of this my wife commenced a cat and mouse game with our waiter in an attempt to get the vent turned off/lowered/blocked/us moved which lasted the entire meal but ended with her just getting her coat from the cloak room. They clearly knew about the problem (the girl in the cloak room sympathised) but they had clearly learned the best way to deal with it was to make a half hearted show of trying to solve the problem and running away every time you make eye contact.

Onto the food. I can safely say it was the worst food I have ever eaten (let alone paid for) in my entire life. Honestly, it would make a Dickensian schoolmaster blush. It was vile! the "soup" was vegetables cooked in stock, the veal .... I don't even want to think about it but it was served with plain rice which, while tasteless, we did manage to eat. No coffee or tea was offered.

By now we where in a foul mood and when the show started at 9 I was just about ready to leave, thank god we didn't.

The opening act at the Moulin Rouge is without doubt the gayest thing I have ever seen. I literally watched it with my mouth agape. It was so cheesy and camp and colourful I was blown away. The rest of the show is pretty much the same - amazing sets, outrageous costumes, terrible songs - very very entertaining. They even had a pool of water raised from under stage containing 3 live pythons (not this type) where a "sacrifice" was thrown in, the girl then started grabbing the pythons and wrapping them around here as the poor animals tried desperately to get away - pure magic! The whole night completely redeemed itself, I just wish they hadn't served us food!

Paris

My wife brought me to Paris over the weekend to celebrate my birthday. We headed off on Thursday and arrived back yesterday (Sunday) after some very pleasant and relaxing days. The two big highlights of the trip where a visit to the Musee D'Orsay and a show at the famous Moulin Rouge. The D'Orsay was very good, it has a well thought out plan making it an excellent "museum" experience in and off itself, never mind all the wonderful paintings it contains. The Moulin Rouge was an altogether different experience and deserves a post in it's own right which I will get around to later. We also visited the Arc de Triomphe, the Pantheon (with Foucault's Pendulim) and Montmartre and but for the most part we took it easy and enjoyed rambling around the Latin quarter of the city. This was our second visit to Paris and we still havn;t seen it all, a third trip seems inevitable.

Krakow

I'm just back from a very pleasant few days Krakow where we went to celebrate my father in laws birthday.

We stayed in an apartment just off the main market square in the central tourist district so it was very central and had all the amenities required. This was our first time renting an apartment like this and it worked out very well, my one complaint is we where given a single set of keys which makes things very awkward for 6 people. In any case we managed but next time I'll check in advance the number of keys made available should we go down that route again.

Because Poland is an Eastern European country it goes without saying the local beer was excellent and my father-in-law and myself had a grand ole time sampling the different brews on offer. Though neither of us are vodka drinkers we did try some of Polish varieties (just to be social) and there was one in particular that was very nice but I can't remember its name (to be fair, it was in Polish) which is a pity because it was quite tasty. The next day I had to make do with a guess as I purchased a small bottle of what I _think_ was the nice one.

The food in Krakow was universally good. On the second night we went to a "fancy" restaurant that had been recommended to us by some Poles living in Ireland who obviously thought we are just the kind of people who eat Snail's & Foie Gras. After a quick look at the menu we beat a hasty and disorderly retreat to the nearest streak house where they serve the meat of the animal and not the offal.

There's some interesting sights in Krakow but here's what I liked. The city itself, which is lovely and very pleasant to walk around and admire. The church of St Mary which can rival most churches in Rome, the castle even though the ticketing system is ridiculous, the salt mines and Kazimierz. I didn't go to the concentration camps for various reasons so I can't comment on them. Finally, the Christmas markets where open so we could browse the stalls, enjoy some excellent street food and keep warm with some mulled wine.

It's a nice place Krakow, I'd definitely recommend it.